I’m twenty-one this year and I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going in life.
Found this quiz a year ago and tried it. That was before I started this blog. I was reading through my old blog posts on my private blog when I came across it and thought why not attempt it again since it didn’t really help me last year. Then I thought, why not post it here in public instead of my blog?
If you’re interested in reading more about this quiz, visit here. I’m just going to attempt the questions so there won’t be much of an explanation of what the answers really mean.
On with the first question!
#1. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF SHIT SANDWICH AND DOES IT COME WITH AN OLIVE?
Wacky first question. basically it’s asking what’s the best package of the worst deal that you are willing to handle. The olive part just makes it worse. Like the total opposite to having a cherry on top of an ice-cream.
What’s the worst that I’m willing to handle? A couple of years ago, I sacrificed a LOT of sleep for my final exams. I literally felt like a walking zombie. I doled out essays and wrote as many as 4 over a single night. I hated every single moment of it. That was before entering college. Sure, I’ve lost my fair share of sleep in college, but I never pushed myself to the same state again.
Does it mean that I am weak?
When I took up internships, working overtime is something that I was willing to do. Doig mindless menial jobs was also something that I didn’t mind handling.
Is my answer an I don’t know? I’m too young. Haven’t experienced much shit flavours?
Does getting a string of Cs count? Because I can’t handle this anymore.
#2.WHAT IS TRUE ABOUT YOU TODAY THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR 8-YEAR-OLD SELF CRY?
Probably the fact that I don’t have a single person that I would call a best friend. At 8-years old, I had 2 best friends. We’ve long since lost contact. Friendships fade with time, I’ve learned.
Another fact may be that I’m just doing really badly at school now and I’m feeling like it’s a lost cause now.
And that we still haven’t gotten a dog. Or that I still haven’t turned magically into a princess.
#3.WHAT MAKES YOU FORGET TO EAT AND POOP?
There are a couple of things. Reading. Drawing. Watching animation movies that I’ve loved since young. Worshiping in church.
Some stories just capture my entire attention. I would love to write stories too. But I’m never satisfied with what I write. I love to draw. I draw almost everyday. Not seriously – usually just doodles or squiggles. When I’m sad or frustrated, I find that I draw a lot more and draw more seriously. Watching movies is a great source of distraction for me if I’m feeling blah or down. Singing in church is just such an awesome experience that I wish that time would just stop and I could stay there singing forever.
#4. HOW CAN YOU BETTER EMBARRASS YOURSELF
The point of this question is to embrace embarrassment. If you’re embarrassed because you suck at something and then you stop doing that something, you will never become better. We all suck when we’re learning something new, unfamiliar, difficult etc.
I didn’t know how to answer the question last year. And I still don’t know how to answer it this year. I suppose I’m quite embarrassed when I have to talk about myself and when I have to talk in my mediocre Japanese. The way to better embarrass myself is just really to keep talking. Keep practicing and I’ll master it in no time. I’m already planning to take up formal lessons next year to brush up my Japanese and become more confident.
#5. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD?
What are the values or causes that are bigger than my trivial first world problems? Recently I’ve been trying to help migrant workers to be aware or their rights and be able to exercise them. Very recently, I learnt about the plight of trafficked fishermen in Asian seas that suffer terrible abuse on board ships that they cannot escape from. My heart really goes out to them. I’m writing a research paper on it…or I’m supposed to. It’s not going very well, I’m afraid, because of my emotional instability and insecurities right now.
#6. GUN TO YOUR HEAD, IF YOU HAD TO LEAVE THE HOUSE ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, WHERE WOULD YOU GO AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
The questions requires us to assume that there’s no internet, no smart phone apps, nothing that will distract us – supposedly. Where would I go and spend my days if I had a gun to my head to leave the house? It’s like forcing me to choose a place to work right? Right now…I might just go to school and continue to get my degree. But that’s how I feel about school now anyway – I’ve paid the high college fees, I have to earn that degree – there is already a gun to my head that threatens to go off every time I want to give up on college.
#7. IF YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DIE ONE YEAR FROM TODAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO AND HOW WOULD YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?
If I had only 1 year. I would just stop forcing myself to go to school since I won’t be able to graduate anyway. If I’m able to graduate in a year then I would soldier on and fight it out. Because otherwise, I would feel as though I’m wasting an opportuinity. I would serve in church. I would send birthday cards to my friends so that they have something to remember me by. I would go on as many family outings as possible. I would write a thank-you card to my mother, father and brother. I would just paint the walls of my room and draw on them. I would attempt art that I haven’t tried before. I would knit an afghan to decorate the sofa in our house so that my family and perhaps descendants have something to remember me by. I would attend an Arashi concert (this is a Japanese idol group that so far only holds concerts in Japan other than the Hawaii concert this year).
Right, and that’s the end of the seven questions. What have I found out? I know that I love crafts and releasing my creativity. I’m tired of my degree which is very restrictive of creativity. I want to leave people objects to remember me by. I am willing to work overtime. I’m not willing to slog it out for something that I hate. I’m forcing myself to go to college. I have to go to college. I cannot give up on college because so much time, effort and money has already gone into it.
I suppose….the only thing is to continue with college and struggle…and see where I end up.